“Thank you, Dr. Fredericks,” I said, getting up from the
all-too-comfortable beige sofa in the warm, inviting psychiatrist’s office. It
had become my best friend during the past two months. After the disastrous
outing on Halloween and my complete blow up with Esme, I finally went to go see
a psychiatrist. Dr. Fredericks worked collaboratively with Dr. Eleazar and we
discussed my injury, how I was healing, coping mechanisms for my anger and
coming up with a game plan if I am unable to dance, in any way.
It would appear that I would be using my teaching degree. It
was a great place holder, but not my dream. Dancing was my dream. It was always
my dream.
Was I better? Yes, and coming to grips with my new reality.
Was I bitter? Definitely.
Especially when it came to seeing people that I loved dance.
Edward told me he was going to step back from dancing and choreographing, but
after speaking with Dr. Fredericks, he felt that it would hinder my healing.
So, I was bitter and pissed at my
boyfriend. Even though he was my biggest cheerleader.
He even put on a damned cheerleader uniform, doing some
crazy routine. I laughed hysterically, but in the back of my mind, I was still
upset because he could do it.
Granted, I was getting better physically. My limp was almost
nonexistent and I was working on rebuilding lost muscle. Helga was an
overbearing task master, but she still was not positive that I was going to
dance again. I was going to out-stubborn her and prove her wrong. Though, there
were days that I almost believed her.
They were more often than not.
Slipping my purse over my shoulder as I slipped out of the
office, I smiled at Carlisle who was waiting for me in the waiting room. He was
taking me to physical therapy today. Edward was out shopping for Christmas
presents with Peter, Lauren and Jasper. Peter had broken up with his longtime
boyfriend, Charlie, and was staying in Lauren’s apartment until he could get
back on his feet. She’d started a run, performing with the Chicago company of Hamilton. Jasper, who was now dating
Lauren, was working with Esme since Edward refused to do any work on any sort
of showcase.
Rose and Emmett were in Seattle, but were planning on moving
to Chicago after the lease was up. Rose had packed up all my belongings and had
them shipped to Chicago. She sold the furniture with my blessing, but my
clothes, computer and other personal items arrived shortly before Thanksgiving.
Edward helped me integrate them into his home, making it our home. He even insisted on having me redecorate our bedroom. I
was hesitant at first, thinking that it was a waste of money. However, it
helped us laugh and have fun as a couple while we painted the walls a warm
grey-beige color and decorated with soft blues, creams and greys. It reflected
us as a couple and not Edward as a bachelor, which was cold and stark with
black furniture and white walls.
He kissed me. “Thank you for making my house into our home,”
he whispered as we put the final pillow on our bed. I blushed, still thinking
that he was going to kick me to the curb, but I pushed that thinking behind me.
With a lot of discussion with Dr. Fredericks, I worked on not focusing on the
negative. Edward was not like anyone else in my life. My mother made me feel
like I was disposable, but I’m not. That was what I was working on in therapy. I
was getting better, but there were moments when I couldn’t kick those feelings.
