So You Think You Can Dance Update

SYTYCD Chapter 25 Update on FicPad

SYTYCD Chapter 25 Update on TWCS

SYTYCD Chapter 25 Update on AO3

SYTYCD Chapter 25 Update on FFn

SYTYCD Chapter 25 Update on Wattpad

“Thank you, Dr. Fredericks,” I said, getting up from the all-too-comfortable beige sofa in the warm, inviting psychiatrist’s office. It had become my best friend during the past two months. After the disastrous outing on Halloween and my complete blow up with Esme, I finally went to go see a psychiatrist. Dr. Fredericks worked collaboratively with Dr. Eleazar and we discussed my injury, how I was healing, coping mechanisms for my anger and coming up with a game plan if I am unable to dance, in any way.

It would appear that I would be using my teaching degree. It was a great place holder, but not my dream. Dancing was my dream. It was always my dream.

Was I better? Yes, and coming to grips with my new reality.

Was I bitter? Definitely.

Especially when it came to seeing people that I loved dance. Edward told me he was going to step back from dancing and choreographing, but after speaking with Dr. Fredericks, he felt that it would hinder my healing. So, I was bitter and pissed at my boyfriend. Even though he was my biggest cheerleader.

He even put on a damned cheerleader uniform, doing some crazy routine. I laughed hysterically, but in the back of my mind, I was still upset because he could do it.

Granted, I was getting better physically. My limp was almost nonexistent and I was working on rebuilding lost muscle. Helga was an overbearing task master, but she still was not positive that I was going to dance again. I was going to out-stubborn her and prove her wrong. Though, there were days that I almost believed her.

They were more often than not.

Slipping my purse over my shoulder as I slipped out of the office, I smiled at Carlisle who was waiting for me in the waiting room. He was taking me to physical therapy today. Edward was out shopping for Christmas presents with Peter, Lauren and Jasper. Peter had broken up with his longtime boyfriend, Charlie, and was staying in Lauren’s apartment until he could get back on his feet. She’d started a run, performing with the Chicago company of Hamilton. Jasper, who was now dating Lauren, was working with Esme since Edward refused to do any work on any sort of showcase.

Rose and Emmett were in Seattle, but were planning on moving to Chicago after the lease was up. Rose had packed up all my belongings and had them shipped to Chicago. She sold the furniture with my blessing, but my clothes, computer and other personal items arrived shortly before Thanksgiving. Edward helped me integrate them into his home, making it our home. He even insisted on having me redecorate our bedroom. I was hesitant at first, thinking that it was a waste of money. However, it helped us laugh and have fun as a couple while we painted the walls a warm grey-beige color and decorated with soft blues, creams and greys. It reflected us as a couple and not Edward as a bachelor, which was cold and stark with black furniture and white walls.

He kissed me. “Thank you for making my house into our home,” he whispered as we put the final pillow on our bed. I blushed, still thinking that he was going to kick me to the curb, but I pushed that thinking behind me. With a lot of discussion with Dr. Fredericks, I worked on not focusing on the negative. Edward was not like anyone else in my life. My mother made me feel like I was disposable, but I’m not. That was what I was working on in therapy. I was getting better, but there were moments when I couldn’t kick those feelings. 

Edward and Bella's renovated bedroom

Carlisle and Esme's home in Chicago

Carlisle and Esme's Living Room

Kitchen

Solarium

Center Pieces

Family Room

Dining Room

Edward's Present to Bella

So You Think You Can Dance Teaser

I spent the month leading up to the auditions working on my routine. I wanted to do something for my father, praying that he was watching from heaven. In fact, the song I chose, “Angel,” was his favorite song and we had made plans for us to dance to it at my wedding. Now, I was using it as a tribute to celebrate my father and honor his memory at this audition. Rose was also working on her audition, but her dance style was different than mine. She was a hip hop dancer but she looked like Barbie. It was weird seeing her get down and ‘dirty’ while she had a perky blonde ponytail and the body of a prima ballerina. It worked for her, though.

Just before we left to drive to Portland, we asked a few of the dance majors and a number of the dance professors to give us critiques on our audition numbers. I wanted the experience of performing in front of an audience and Rose just wanted to show off. Rose went first, using a mash up of several different songs for her piece. Her two minute number was filled with explosive moves, fancy tricks and intricate, but smooth footwork. When she finished, she held her final pose with an aggressive stare. The dancers applauded and whooped it up. Rose moved to the front of the studio, sliding gracefully to the floor, asking for any and all critique. There wasn’t much, really. The only thing I noticed was a rushed section in the beginning and the rest of the dancers agreed. Rose nodded, mentally reworking the choreography.

I was next and I was nervous. Almost to the point where I was sick. I walked to the center of the stage, taking my opening pose. With a barely perceptible nod, the music began and I danced for my father. When the music faded away, I barely was able to keep the tears at bay. This piece was cathartic for me, but it reminded me of what I was missing. Every day, I would give anything to hear his voice, to smell his cheap cologne, to tease him about the cruiser, to just be with him. I barely made it to the bathroom, throwing up and sobbing on the floor of the smelly, disgusting restroom. Rose found me, hugging me closely but never saying a word. She’d been there through every nightmare, every emotional breakdown and every moment of my grief. She was there now and I loved her for it.

“How am I supposed to get through this without crying at the audition?” I whispered, my face pressed to Rose’s shoulder.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Bells,” Rose said, tightening her arms around me. “That piece…it was gorgeous. I could see every emotion on your face, every moment that you shared with your dad. From the first step you took into a dance studio, to his funeral. There was not a dry eye in that studio and no one had any critiques. Charlie, he’s smiling down at you and cheering at how beautiful you were.”

“Really?” I sniffled.

“Really,” Rose answered, kissing my head.

"Angel" by Sarah McLachlan
Song that Bella danced to for her father