Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts

Sunday, November 20, 2016

So You Think You Can Dance Update

SYTYCD Chapter 24 Update on FicPad

SYTYCD Chapter 24 Update on TWCS

SYTYCD Chapter 24 Update on AO3

SYTYCD Chapter 24 Update on FFn

SYTYCD Chapter 24 Update on Wattpad

I had been in the hospital for two weeks. I’d had surgery to remove the cage around my left leg. I was now in a foot to thigh cast. I had been a raging bitch and I was absolutely miserable from being confined to the bed, not able to fend for myself and peeing into a damn bag.

Oh, let’s not mention the fact that I’m in horrific pain.

I was also ignoring Edward. He’d been nothing but supportive, loving and patient. However, seeing him reminded me of what I was going to lose once I got out of the hospital. I would never dance again. I’d forever have a limp. I may not be able to have children. The internal damage was healing, but there would be significant scarring to my uterus due to the surgery and internal injuries I’d sustained.

I was working with a physical therapist on my other leg when Rose stomped into my room, scowling and her face red with anger. “Do you mind if I have a moment with my best friend who’s being an epic bitch? I want to talk to her before I drive back up to Seattle to make sure our apartment hasn’t burned down,” she sneered. She glared at the therapist who scurried out of the room. Turning to me, she snapped, “I’m not going to apologize. Yes, you’ve been in an accident. Your mom and arch-nemesis are sitting in a jail cell. You have every right to be pissed off, but treating the man who adores you more than his own life like complete and utter shit? That’s cold, Swan.”

“You’re right. I’m entitled to be pissed off. Now, if you don’t mind. I want to be pissed off,” I snapped. “Because of my mom’s sick pleasure in ruining my life, I’ve lost everything.”

“You haven’t lost everything. You’re still fucking breathing,” Rose growled. “You could have died, but you didn’t. You have new scars and injuries to your legs, but you’re still here. Don’t give up and shut down. You don’t see Edward. He’s just as broken as you are. But, his wounds are due to you and your harsh treatment of him. Stop being so awful to him. Quit shutting him out, bitch!”

“I’m not treating him harshly,” I argued.

“And I’m a natural red head,” Rose deadpanned. She flipped her blonde curls, glowering at me. “Bella, I know that you’re struggling. I remember when I first met you, just after your dad died and you were still trying to heal from your knee injury. You acted the same way: distant and cold. After a few months, you warmed up to me but you still … there was this anger inside of you.”

“Do you blame me? My knee was fucked up. My dad was killed on the job because he was pulling extra shifts to pay for my medical bills. My mom blamed me. And now? It all boils down to my mom and her bullshit. Because of her actions, I’m back in the same position, with injuries that are threatening my dancing career and mounting medical bills, but even worse. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for this. Edward’s going to see that I’m not worth it. Just like you. I’m just preparing for the inevitable,” I sobbed. “I’m going to be alone.”

“Fuck,” Rose mumbled, sitting down next to me and wrapping her arms around me. “You’re not going to be alone, if you change how you’re acting, Bells. The walls are back up and I miss the girl, my best girl. The girl who auditioned with me, on a whim, for this crazy competition. A competition you won!

“A competition that I’ll never be able to take part in again because of my fucked-up legs,” I said, shrugging her off. “Oh, let’s not talk about the damage inside. Carrying a baby to term is ‘questionable’ at best.” I pointed to her barely visible baby bump. “You think that I don’t know?” I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks and I whimpered in pain.

“What’s going on?” Sarah, one of my nurses, asked.


“Nothing. I was just hoping that Bella would pull her head out of her ass,” Rose growled, stomping past her. 

Thursday, November 17, 2016

So You Think You Can Dance Teaser

I had been in the hospital for two weeks. I’d had surgery to remove the cage around my left leg. I was now in a foot to thigh cast. I had been a raging bitch and I was absolutely miserable from being confined to the bed, not able to fend for myself and peeing into a damn bag.

Oh, let’s not mention the fact that I’m in horrific pain.

I was also ignoring Edward. He’d been nothing but supportive, loving and patient. However, seeing him reminded me of what I was going to lose once I got out of the hospital. I would never dance again. I’d forever have a limp. I may not be able to have children. The internal damage was healing, but there would be significant scarring to my uterus due to the surgery and internal injuries I’d sustained.

I was working with a physical therapist on my other leg when Rose stomped into my room, scowling and her face red with anger. “Do you mind if I have a moment with my best friend who’s being an epic bitch? I want to talk to her before I drive back up to Seattle to make sure our apartment hasn’t burned down,” she sneered. She glared at the therapist who scurried out of the room. Turning to me, she snapped, “I’m not going to apologize. Yes, you’ve been in an accident. Your mom and arch-nemesis are sitting in a jail cell. You have every right to be pissed off, but treating the man who adores you more than his own life like complete and utter shit? That’s cold, Swan.”

“You’re right. I’m entitled to be pissed off. Now, if you don’t mind. I want to be pissed off,” I snapped. “Because of my mom’s sick pleasure in ruining my life, I’ve lost everything.”

“You haven’t lost everything. You’re still fucking breathing,” Rose growled. “You could have died, but you didn’t. You have new scars and injuries to your legs, but you’re still here. Don’t give up and shut down. You don’t see Edward. He’s just as broken as you are. But, his wounds are due to you and your harsh treatment of him. Stop being so awful to him. Quit shutting him out, bitch!”

“I’m not treating him harshly,” I argued.

“And I’m a natural red head,” Rose deadpanned. She flipped her blonde curls, glowering at me. “Bella, I know that you’re struggling. I remember when I first met you, just after your dad died and you were still trying to heal from your knee injury. You acted the same way: distant and cold. After a few months, you warmed up to me but you still … there was this anger inside of you.”

“Do you blame me? My knee was fucked up. My dad was killed on the job because he was pulling extra shifts to pay for my medical bills. My mom blamed me. And now? It all boils down to my mom and her bullshit. Because of her actions, I’m back in the same position, with injuries that are threatening my dancing career and mounting medical bills, but even worse. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for this. Edward’s going to see that I’m not worth it. Just like you. I’m just preparing for the inevitable,” I sobbed. “I’m going to be alone.”

“Fuck,” Rose mumbled, sitting down next to me and wrapping her arms around me. “You’re not going to be alone, if you change how you’re acting, Bells. The walls are back up and I miss the girl, my best girl. The girl who auditioned with me, on a whim, for this crazy competition. A competition you won!

“A competition that I’ll never be able to take part in again because of my fucked-up legs,” I said, shrugging her off. “Oh, let’s not talk about the damage inside. Carrying a baby to term is ‘questionable’ at best.” I pointed to her barely visible baby bump. “You think that I don’t know?” I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks and I whimpered in pain.

“What’s going on?” Sarah, one of my nurses, asked.


“Nothing. I was just hoping that Bella would pull her head out of her ass,” Rose growled, stomping past her. 

Thursday, November 10, 2016

So You Think You Can Dance Update

SURPRISE! I got home early enough to post an update today!! I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!

SYTYCD Chapter 23 Update on FicPad

SYTYCD Chapter 23 Update on AO3

SYTYCD Chapter 23 Update on FFn

SYTYCD Chapter 23 Update on TWCS

SYTYCD Chapter 23 Update on Wattpad

“Sir, you have to calm down,” said one cop.

“Calm down? My fiancée may be the one under the sheet! I will not calm down,” I snapped. The cop’s face hardened and he slapped a set of cuffs around my wrists. “What?! You’re arresting me?!”

“Only until you calm the fuck down,” he sneered.

“Jay, you’re such an asshole,” a female cop growled. She released me. “The guy under the sheet is the driver of the Uber. We pulled out a female, mid-twenties out of the backseat. She’s in rough shape.”

“Have they left?” I asked. “The ambulance?”

“Just left. I’ll take you to the hospital. If she has family, you may want to call them,” the cop said kindly.

“Thank you,” I whispered. She tugged on my arm, smacking Jay’s head before leading me to a squad car. I got into the back, dialing Alistair and explaining to him what had happened. I also called Rose, but she already knew and was on her way to the hospital. Rose was Bella’s emergency contact. We arrived at the hospital and I called my parents. My mom said she’d be on the next flight out and Dad would make it over the weekend. I was barely keeping it together.

She’s in rough shape …

What the hell does that mean?! Is she at death’s door? Did she lose a limb? What?

In the hospital, the cop, Amy, explained that I was the fiancée of the female car accident victim. I was led into a quiet room. I explained that there were more people on the way. The nurse nodded and said that the doctor would be in shortly. Alistair and Carmen arrived next with Rose and Emmett. Carmen sat next to me, hugging the shit out of me but I was numb. I needed to know what was going on.


She’s in rough shape …

Sunday, November 6, 2016

So You Think You Can Dance Update

SYTYCD Chapter 22 Update on FicPad

SYTYCD Chapter 22 Update on AO3

SYTYCD Chapter 22 Update on FFn

SYTYCD Chapter 22 Update on TWCS

SYTYCD Chapter 22 Update on Wattpad

With a spin, a twist and a sneer, our dance was over and we strode apart, leaving room for Chloe in the middle. Lowering my arms, I blew out a breath and waited. Alistair spoke almost immediately after the crowd died down. “And that’s why you two are the top two dancers. You are both so strong and fierce. This has been one of the most amazing seasons of So You Think You Can Dance and it’s all in part due to you two.”

“Thank you,” Alice said smugly, standing up taller and smirking.

“This has been a dream,” I breathed. “Thank you for the opportunity.”

“A class act to the end,” Carmen smiled. “We should be thanking you.”

“Before we announce the winner, let’s take a look at both of your best bits,” Chloe said. On the screen, our story wove together and it was a combination of our best performances, rehearsals and camaraderie with the cast. I had more of the latter, but they gave us equal time. When the video ended, the lights came up. “In a record-breaking vote, America’s Favorite Dancer is …”

I took a breath, focusing on my thoughts, my dad, my friends, Edward and my future. Whatever may come … I can do this.

“Isabella Swan!”


Did I just win? Oh my GOD!